


Tumblr Miscellany 2017

by iiii, welkinalauda (iiii)



Category: Tumblr - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-08-14 06:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiii/pseuds/iiii, https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiii/pseuds/welkinalauda





	1. Chapter 1

[1/2/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155327967760/mswyrr-achillespelides-johanirae)

I’m very tired of female characters being dressed like single 22-years-olds out to go dancing in midsummer, while their male counterparts are dressed appropriately for their specific character, professional occasion, time of day, and current weather.

[#standard wardrobe rant](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/standard-wardrobe-rant) [#also tired of viewers' dislike of female characters who are always dressed inappropriately](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/also-tired-of-viewers%27-dislike-of-female-characters-who-are-always-dressed-inappropriately) [#being read as viewers disliking female characters](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/being-read-as-viewers-disliking-female-characters) [#We LOVE women characters like](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/We-LOVE-women-characters-like) [#Samantha Carter](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Samantha-Carter) [#Janet Fraiser](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Janet-Fraiser) [#Eileen Leahy](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Eileen-Leahy) [#all the women cops on SPN](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/all-the-women-cops-on-SPN) [#who show up dressed to do their jobs](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/who-show-up-dressed-to-do-their-jobs)

* * *

[1/3/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155353578651/things-i-need-people-in-fandom-to-stop-saying)

[#stop treating racism as an extraordinary claim](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/stop-treating-racism-as-an-extraordinary-claim) [#requiring extraordinary evidence](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/requiring-extraordinary-evidence) [#it's not](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-not) [#it's not even an ordinary claim](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-not-even-an-ordinary-claim) [#it's our society's default state](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-our-society%27s-default-state) [#claims of not-racism are extraordinary](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/claims-of-not-racism-are-extraordinary) [#and do require extraordinary evidence](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-do-require-extraordinary-evidence) [#and even then I'm not sure I'd believe it](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-even-then-I%27m-not-sure-I%27d-believe-it)

* * *

[1/5/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155449573934/how-do-i-write-a-female-character-that-doesnt) [How do I write a female character that doesn't fall under the "Beautiful Badass" trope? I feel like she either ends up a Mary Sue or becomes a cold, heartless, pessimistic, combat-ready-yet-gorgeous queen of badassery. What's the middle ground?]

[#sjr q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sjr-q) [#specific women characters](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/specific-women-characters) [#ALSO!](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/ALSO%21) [#the easiest way to do this is](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-easiest-way-to-do-this-is) [#make half the characters female](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/make-half-the-characters-female) [#When the hero-woman is the only woman in the story](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/When-the-hero-woman-is-the-only-woman-in-the-story) [#she's the only woman in the world](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/she%27s-the-only-woman-in-the-world) [#She is Womanhood Personified](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/She-is-Womanhood-Personified) [#and must contain all womanly qualities](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-must-contain-all-womanly-qualities) [#When she is one of many women](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/When-she-is-one-of-many-women) [#the hero-woman can be herself](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-hero-woman-can-be-herself) [#someone in particular](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/someone-in-particular) [#she doesn't have to be Mary Sue or violent Smurfette](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/she-doesn%27t-have-to-be-Mary-Sue-or-violent-Smurfette)

* * *

[1/6/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155474962074/what-do-working-class-white-trump-voters-really)

[#I keep hearing that I need to try to understand Trump voters](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-keep-hearing-that-I-need-to-try-to-understand-Trump-voters) [#I understand them just fine](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-understand-them-just-fine) [#they're a mean bunch of marks](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/they%27re-a-mean-bunch-of-marks) [#who just bought us all a pig in a poke](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/who-just-bought-us-all-a-pig-in-a-poke) [#because they saw on the tv that pig was really Secretariat](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/because-they-saw-on-the-tv-that-pig-was-really-Secretariat) [#who talks wild but will grant all their wishes](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/who-talks-wild-but-will-grant-all-their-wishes) [#they expect us to spend the next four years](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/they-expect-us-to-spend-the-next-four-years) [#biting our tongues](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/biting-our-tongues) [#being too polite to point out the racist sexist multiple bankrupt pig in that poke](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/being-too-polite-to-point-out-the-racist-sexist-multiple-bankrupt-pig-in-that-poke) [#I expect them to meet any plain speaking on the subject](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-expect-them-to-meet-any-plain-speaking-on-the-subject) [#with a tantrum](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/with-a-tantrum) [#blaming the Democrats](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/blaming-the-Democrats) [#possible gunfire](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/possible-gunfire)

* * *

[1/6/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155491341156/suricattus-in-case-you-forgot-mitch-seems)

I really, really want the Democrats on the Judiciary Committee to spend the next four years’ worth of SC confirmation hearings asking about nothing but Merrick Garland. 

“So, [Nominee], what do you think of Merrick Garland’s qualifications?” 

[#make Garland the Republicans' Benghazi](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/make-Garland-the-Republicans%27-Benghazi)

* * *

[1/9/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155633117133/atane-jamaicanblackcastoroil-missmajora)

My immigrant ancestors crossed the North Atlantic in a leaky boat at an inadvisable time of year, stopped five states short of their intended destination, went ashore to steal from the locals’ winter stores, and when the locals took pity on their pathetic criminal asses my ancestors wouldn’t fucking leave. They didn’t have a charter from their _own _king for that land, much less prior permission from the governments they were invading.

‘Legally to colonize’ my mayflower-white ass.

[#I am descended from religious fanatics](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-am-descended-from-religious-fanatics) [#self-righteous criminals with no sense at all](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/self-righteous-criminals-with-no-sense-at-all) [#who made America what it is today](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/who-made-America-what-it-is-today) [#I'm really sorry about that](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27m-really-sorry-about-that)

* * *

[1/10/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155669672349/micdotcom-in-ironic-twist-mcconnell-tells) [McConnell tells everyone to stop delaying and approve Trump's nominees]

I think this is an occasion on which all parties should follow Senator McConnell’s longstanding example rather than his present advice.

[#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#never lose sight of the fact that McConnell's wife](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/never-lose-sight-of-the-fact-that-McConnell%27s-wife) [#has been nominated to the Trumpery Cabinet](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/has-been-nominated-to-the-Trumpery-Cabinet) [#he knows *exactly* what the FBI/OGE will find out about her](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-knows-%2Aexactly%2A-what-the-FBI%2FOGE-will-find-out-about-her) [#if they get a chance to look](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/if-they-get-a-chance-to-look) [#if there is a real reporter left in DC](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/if-there-is-a-real-reporter-left-in-DC) [#they will ask McConnell what he and his wife](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/they-will-ask-McConnell-what-he-and-his-wife) [#are hoping to hide with this unseemly haste](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/are-hoping-to-hide-with-this-unseemly-haste) [#if there really is a liberal newspaper left in this country](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/if-there-really-is-a-liberal-newspaper-left-in-this-country) [#McConnell's non-answer will be on their front page](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/McConnell%27s-non-answer-will-be-on-their-front-page) [#above the fold](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/above-the-fold) [#for the next two years](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/for-the-next-two-years)

* * *

[ 1/14/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155851301140/trump2017k)

[#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#I think she's got it](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-think-she%27s-got-it) [#firing everyone isn't a plot](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/firing-everyone-isn%27t-a-plot) [#it's a dominance display](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-a-dominance-display) [#he doesn't understand the consequences of firing everyone](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-doesn%27t-understand-the-consequences-of-firing-everyone) [#because he's never been made to experience consequences](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/because-he%27s-never-been-made-to-experience-consequences) [#he's always stiffed the contractors](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he%27s-always-stiffed-the-contractors) [#taken a short soft fall into his daddy's money](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/taken-a-short-soft-fall-into-his-daddy%27s-money) [#and geared up for his next tacky con](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-geared-up-for-his-next-tacky-con) [#i don't think he's capable of viscerally understanding](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/i-don%27t-think-he%27s-capable-of-viscerally-understanding) [#that he is on the hook for the next four *years*](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/that-he-is-on-the-hook-for-the-next-four-%2Ayears%2A) [#there is no easy walk away](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/there-is-no-easy-walk-away) [#and if he tries](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-if-he-tries) [#he may yet die in jail](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-may-yet-die-in-jail)

* * *

[1/17/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/155986819424/i-was-just-seized-by-the-thought-that-when-a)

I was just seized by the thought that when a pre-indoor plumbing novelist says something to the effect of _Elizabeth did not leave Jane’s chamber except for meals_, she means just that. It’s not that Lizzie went to the bathroom and the author was too delicate to say so. There was no bathroom to go to. She used the chamber pot.

[#epiphany](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/epiphany) [#I can't quite wrap my head around what it would have been like](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-can%27t-quite-wrap-my-head-around-what-it-would-have-been-like) [#routinely using the pot in the same room where you sleep](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/routinely-using-the-pot-in-the-same-room-where-you-sleep) [#where others sleep](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/where-others-sleep) [#the past is another country](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-past-is-another-country)

* * *

[1/18/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156032086054/excellent-deep-series-on-ubers-ponzi-scheme)

The [Flywheel ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flywheel.com%2Fpassenger-app&t=YzY1M2ZlMDUxMjYzODRiZjkwNTYzMjRhOGJiZDA2YTU3MzVmZWFhNSx5c3NmRWFzUQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F156032086054%2Fexcellent-deep-series-on-ubers-ponzi-scheme&m=1)app lets you hail a licensed cab on your phone.

[#psa q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/psa-q) [#union yes](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/union-yes) [#return of the goddamn Gilded Age](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/return-of-the-goddamn-Gilded-Age) [#my only experience with Uber](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/my-only-experience-with-Uber) [#was standing around after a business dinner](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/was-standing-around-after-a-business-dinner) [#waiting with the visiting IT exec](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/waiting-with-the-visiting-IT-exec) [#while she tried to get their app to work](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/while-she-tried-to-get-their-app-to-work) [#I eventually talked her into](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-eventually-talked-her-into) [#letting me flag down one of the many passing cabs](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/letting-me-flag-down-one-of-the-many-passing-cabs) [#never did find out why she was so set on using Uber](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/never-did-find-out-why-she-was-so-set-on-using-Uber) [#sure as hell wasn't for convenience](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sure-as-hell-wasn%27t-for-convenience)

* * *

[1/21/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156177873919/rafi-dangelo-twitter-president-velveeta)

with comment from Duff and the bakery who produced the replica:

[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/food/wp/2017/01/21/trump-had-a-huge-luxurious-inauguration-cake-was-it-plagiarized/?utm_term=.f3edee3062fb](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Fnews%2Ffood%2Fwp%2F2017%2F01%2F21%2Ftrump-had-a-huge-luxurious-inauguration-cake-was-it-plagiarized%2F%3Futm_term%3D.f3edee3062fb&t=YmRmMjlmZGFmMDg1YTE5OTRkNmM0YmQ0Zjk4NmE3YjNjYjcxMzQ3OCxBSTg1Nm52Uw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F156177873919%2Frafi-dangelo-twitter-president-velveeta&m=1)

[#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#seriously wtf](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/seriously-wtf) [#an all-gold Trump Tower cake would have been less tacky](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/an-all-gold-Trump-Tower-cake-would-have-been-less-tacky) [#...and that's something I never expected to say](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/...and-that%27s-something-I-never-expected-to-say)

* * *

[1/21/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156179312769/fun-things-to-do-when-donald-is-inaugurated)

remember 20-30 years ago, him bragging to the NYC gossip rags that all the models he was committing adultery with called him “the Donald,” because <strike>his dick was so big</strike> he was that big of a dick? **“The Donnie”** seems appropriate for someone who stays that childish into middle age.

a bit subtler: **Mr Trump**. which sounds like it’s respectful, because that’s his social title and surname. But used in place of “Mr President,” it’s an insult. Or as part of a list, i.e., President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, Mr Trump. Deprive him of the unearned professional title. 

and of course, **[his Fraudulency](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FRutherford_B._Hayes%23Inauguration&t=ODhmYjQ1YzRmNTAwMzdiOTRjYTJkMGFjNDEyZWU4YmY4MjhkMWY3YyxJRWNNTHJSMg%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F156179312769%2Ffun-things-to-do-when-donald-is-inaugurated&m=1)**

[#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#personal lexicon](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/personal-lexicon) [#has anyone started writing the constitutional amendment?](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/has-anyone-started-writing-the-constitutional-amendment%3F) [#it needs to be ready to go](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-needs-to-be-ready-to-go) [#for the minute congress returns to its senses](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/for-the-minute-congress-returns-to-its-senses)

* * *

[1/23/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156260539989/reverseracism-reverseracism-truth-i-saw-so)

One of those irregular verbs, I’ve noticed - 

Tea Partiers peaceably assemble  
White liberals demonstrate  
Black people riot

and how violent it gets is 100% a function of how suited up the cops came.

Cops didn’t come suited up _at all _yesterday. Not anywhere. And it’s not like any of the marches was all-white.

So I guess the practical question going forward is, what’s the tipping point? What percentage of the crowd has to be Nice White Ladies for the police to allow a peaceful protest? 

[#sjr q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sjr-q) [#as we go marching marching](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/as-we-go-marching-marching) [#personal lexicon](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/personal-lexicon)

* * *

[1/24/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156307682155/journalists-should-stop-interviewing-kellyanne)

I’ll go one further - no more live coverage of anything from the White House and environs. CNN, et al, need to put in a minimum one minute delay so they can stream the fact-check at the bottom of the screen as the spokesmuppets talk. 

and one further than that - no more free blocks of air time for the White House at all. Record them talking, synopsize & sound bite for the late-night news, and use the freed-up time to do some journalism. (Seriously, how has NO ONE has managed to liberate some tax returns? Muckraking is dead.)

[#speak truth](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/speak-truth) [#just a little bothered that the first suggestion is to stop listening to a woman](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/just-a-little-bothered-that-the-first-suggestion-is-to-stop-listening-to-a-woman) [#Sean Spicer is an equally useless source of information](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Sean-Spicer-is-an-equally-useless-source-of-information)

* * *

[1/24/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156346390241/hearseeno-donald-trump-in-1994-i-tell-my)

[#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#most dudes with power](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/most-dudes-with-power) [#no matter how personally awful](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/no-matter-how-personally-awful) [#can at least ape chivalry on occasions they know will be documented](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/can-at-least-ape-chivalry-on-occasions-they-know-will-be-documented) [#it never occurs to him to even pretend](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-never-occurs-to-him-to-even-pretend) [#I bet he has no idea why Obama keeps saying 'protocol'](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-bet-he-has-no-idea-why-Obama-keeps-saying-%27protocol%27)

* * *

[1/26/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156399679130/drst-bilt2tumble-marendezvouspoint)

‘drain the swamp’ = ‘dump a ton of non-native landscaping on top of the (undrained) bird refuge, stiff the contractors, then charge $10k/month to wade around the amazing new golf course and tacky-ass clubhouse.’

[#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#and the Big Yellow Taxi's been replaced by an Uber](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-the-Big-Yellow-Taxi%27s-been-replaced-by-an-Uber)

* * *

[1/28/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/156493452789/trump-pressured-park-service-to-find-proof-for-his)

[#goddamn idiot alert](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/goddamn-idiot-alert) [#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#he could have stuck with a 'Real Americans choose Trump' line](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-could-have-stuck-with-a-%27Real-Americans-choose-Trump%27-line) [#claimed/implied that Obama's crowds weren't real americans](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/claimed%2Fimplied-that-Obama%27s-crowds-weren%27t-real-americans) [#like he says Obama's not a real american](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/like-he-says-Obama%27s-not-a-real-american) [#and there's the problem neatly waved away](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-there%27s-the-problem-neatly-waved-away) [#or he could grow the fuck up and move on](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/or-he-could-grow-the-fuck-up-and-move-on) [#instead he's trying to coerce random civil servants](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/instead-he%27s-trying-to-coerce-random-civil-servants) [#who were expecting to be reporting to HRC as of last week](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/who-were-expecting-to-be-reporting-to-HRC-as-of-last-week) [#into bending reality to Trump's will](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/into-bending-reality-to-Trump%27s-will) [#goddamn idiot](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/goddamn-idiot)

* * *

[ 2/22/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/157576033344/arizona-republican-suggests-sterilizing-poor-women)

Please note that a middle-class woman in the US can’t get a voluntary sterilization, no matter how much medical justification there may be, unless she’s previously borne three children **and **has her husband’s permission. (And if she doesn’t have a husband, she’s SOL.)

Please also note the lack of suggestion that vasectomies be forced upon poor men.

[#men are people](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/men-are-people) [#women are chattel](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/women-are-chattel)

* * *

[2/25/17 ](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/157703357444/6-ways-you-didnt-realize-ronald-reagan-ruined-the)

You still can’t get an involuntary committal in California until someone’s hurt bad enough to warrant felony charges. Then, odds are they go to jail instead of a treatment facility. Reagan closed the asylums and sold off the properties; his successors built more prisons instead. More profitable that way.

There’s a tell, in the news stories after a random act of violence. If the perp’s neighbors are quoted saying what a nice boy he was, it means the perp is a straight-up domestic terrorist. If the perp’s family is quoted saying they’ve been trying to get him help for years but couldn’t get him an in-patient bed they could afford, the perp is mentally ill.

The old mental hospitals were fairly terrifying, but dumping the patients to sleep rough is not a better solution.

[#sjr q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sjr-q) [#Reagan made everything worse](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Reagan-made-everything-worse)

* * *

[2/28/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/157853642615/fisadeepforestgreen-localdoghoe)

to recap:

‘Let us deplore the dehumanizing expectation of universal female decorativeness’

“I insist on asserting my personal belief that [undecorative class] females are exceptionally decorative! This demonstrates my uncommon discernment and depth of character, entitles me to a cookie, and in no way reifies the dehumanizing expectation of universal female decorativeness”

‘*sigh* fine, here’s your damn cookie.   
_Let us deplore the dehumanizing expectation of universal female decorativeness_’

[3/1/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/157869538508/fisadeepforestgreen-welkinalauda) [_Mhm, I think I remember that person being a girl though._]

In that case, girlhood is an excellent time to hear that faithfully performing the rituals of the patriarchy does fuck-all to further feminism. 

The call-and-response pattern 

A: I object to judgments based on appearance  
B: but I think you’re pretty!  
A: thank you for positively judging my appearance

is a highly codified ritual of the patriarchy. It’s super effective at shutting down women’s attempts to reject objectification. It’s based on the premise that women are fundamentally ornaments. So much so that a woman vocally rejecting that frame (or even analyzing it) will **always **be heard as a covert plea for reassurance from all listeners that she _is too_ sufficiently decorative to have value. 

Interrupting the ritual to point out that a positive judgment is still a judgment, and you just said you don’t want to hear it? Is an excellent way to get a reputation as a horrible bitch who screamed at someone for giving her a compliment. The repercussions can be extensive.

Responding to critiques of appearance standards with “but I think [x] is beautiful" is doing the work of the patriarchy. 

We are not things. 

[#we are not things](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/we-are-not-things)

* * *

[3/2/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/157911565871/thenextdanna-it-would-be-so-nice-if-the-bernie)

[#it would be nice if the Bernie people](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-would-be-nice-if-the-Bernie-people) [#would stop fulfilling my worst expectations](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/would-stop-fulfilling-my-worst-expectations) [#they didn't get their 'class is the only real axis of oppression' carpetbagger as a candidate](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/they-didn%27t-get-their-%27class-is-the-only-real-axis-of-oppression%27-carpetbagger-as-a-candidate) [#so they've been alternating passive-aggression](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-they%27ve-been-alternating-passive-aggression) [#with active tantrums ever since](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/with-active-tantrums-ever-since) [#Everyone's blaming white supremacy](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Everyone%27s-blaming-white-supremacy) [#and no one](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-no-one) [#not even 'advanced feminists' like Liss here](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/not-even-%27advanced-feminists%27-like-Liss-here) [#seems capable of keeping the focus on male supremacy](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/seems-capable-of-keeping-the-focus-on-male-supremacy) [#as the primary explanation](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/as-the-primary-explanation) [#for why a white woman couldn't get elected](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/for-why-a-white-woman-couldn%27t-get-elected) [#when a black man with substantially the same agenda](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/when-a-black-man-with-substantially-the-same-agenda) [#DID get elected](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/DID-get-elected) [#TWICE](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/TWICE) [#misogyny is stronger than common sense](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/misogyny-is-stronger-than-common-sense)

* * *

[3/4/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/157977756240/drst-bilt2tumble-eaudrey35)

Yep. Questioning the specific mode of communication is just a pretext for attacking the legitimacy of a woman speaking on her own behalf, at all, ever. If it’s not emails, it’s speeches to Wall Street… 

[#misogyny is stronger than common sense](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/misogyny-is-stronger-than-common-sense)

* * *

[3/7/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/158103598378/glumshoe-je-suis-letat-glumshoe)

[#I've been thinking about having my ashes compressed into a stone](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27ve-been-thinking-about-having-my-ashes-compressed-into-a-stone) [#and set into an ostentatious piece of jewelry](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-set-into-an-ostentatious-piece-of-jewelry) [#possibly of platinum](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/possibly-of-platinum) [#with conspicuous mobius strip styling](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/with-conspicuous-mobius-strip-styling) [#either that or a Viking thing](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/either-that-or-a-Viking-thing) [#haunted forest would be an acceptable alternative](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/haunted-forest-would-be-an-acceptable%C2%A0alternative)

* * *

[3/13/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/158379368435/what-would-pipeline-sound-like-played-on-the)

What would _[Pipeline](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DomG-hZfN6zk&t=NTNhODU0ZDI2NjY4N2ExZGMyMDNjMTYxMzVjZmU5YThmNTg0MDdiNyxYbVgxb2dwMw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F158379368435%2Fwhat-would-pipeline-sound-like-played-on-the&m=1) _sound like played on the bassoon?

[#I sometimes have sick fancies](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-sometimes-have-sick-fancies)

* * *

[3/15/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/158428566942/nemmica-yarking-valeria2067)

A lot of this goes back to the Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965. 

The Johnson administration wanted desegregated schools ASAP. Lawsuits were proving slow, so they decide to try bribery. Show us detailed records proving that your schools are integrated, they said, and we will give you pots of money. (And it worked, mostly, in the sense of discouraging overtly segregated dual school systems. There were some less-attractive side effects in the way of residential segregation, but that’s another topic.)

The first step in qualifying for the federal windfall was creating detailed records of exactly where each student was during the school day. I’m not sure when they decided that school districts would only get paid for ‘instructional time,’ and that study hall and library visits didn’t count, but that’s standard nowadays. With all those detail attendance records being uniformly created, various states piggybacked their own requirements on top of the feds.

You see where this is going, right?

The kids have to be _in class_, or the school doesn’t get funded.

Attendance records have to be frighteningly exact and scrupulously accurate, or the school doesn’t get paid. I don’t know what terrible consequence would befall if those records were errant, but by god every teacher I ever had ran in fear of making a mistake on an attendance report.

There are schools in the US where the only non-felony a teacher will get fired for is failure to keep accurate attendance records.

\-----

The high school I attended (in the early 80s) was completely surrounded by fencing. The gates closed at the second-period bell and opened again at the end of sixth period. To leave campus for lunch required showing a properly-executed pass to the guard on the one open gate. (Or, in my case, knowing which exterior door in the science building had a nonfunctional alarm.) My junior year they hired a woman whose sole job was to patrol campus during class and check for hall passes.

[#America is scary](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/America-is-scary)

* * *

[3/28/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/158932090489/drst-bilt2tumble-sandeul-thirst) ["Can’t believe bush is getting a redemption arc"] 

what drst said

no absolution without penance

‘Taking up portraiture in his retirement’ is not penance 

[#no absolution for him](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/no-absolution-for-him)[#redemption arcs suck](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/redemption-arcs-suck)


	2. Chapter 2

[4/8/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/159345206579/nemmica-answered-your-question-how-do-you-say)

[nemmica](https://nemmica.tumblr.com/) answered your question [“How do you say, “Strange things are afoot,” in Latin?”](http://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/159294027904/how-do-you-say-strange-things-are-afoot-in)

> I have no idea what the answer is, but would like to formally register my appreciation for the question.

I called my BiL the Classics major, and after some conversation and consulting of oracles, he recommended MIRA SUNT FIERI.

but he also said Chambers had “peregre” as an option for “strange” and google translate is telling me that RES PEREGRINI SUNT FIERI means “business travelers are possible,” which I’m finding hilarious.

but also, RES PEREGRE SUNT FIERI is coming back as “a strange thing to be done,” so I think that might be my winner.

[#nemmica](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nemmica) [#strange things are afoot](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/strange-things-are-afoot)

* * *

[4/18/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/159743823691/drst-bilt2tumble-snommelp-odinsblog-im)

YES. 

These are people who believe, with deep and sincere conviction, that maintaining the white supremacist patriarchy is worth their Lives, their Fortunes, and their sacred Honor. The Trumpery faithful will condemn themselves and the people they love to live in poverty and die early of something curable, and will hold it a sacrifice worth making, so long as women are prevented from taking charge and non-whites are treated as non-people.

You **cannot **sell them a social justice platform, no matter how compromised and watered-down you make it. 

We need to stop waiting for them to have personal epiphanies. Maybe they’ll see the light someday, maybe they won’t - but humoring them won’t change their minds. “Taking the oppressor’s face in your hands, gently smoothing back hir hair, softly and sweetly whispering your message in hir ears with lots of words like “maybe” “sort of” and “I’m not blaming you”” [[Harriet J](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ffugitivus.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F08%2F25%2Fa-few-things-to-stop-doing-when-you-find-a-feminist-blog%2F&t=NzA1MTJlZDJhMGI0ZWFmMGUxMTdmZTA2MDdjZjYwMWM1NzNhYTNmZCxFT1V2YURuSw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159743823691%2Fdrst-bilt2tumble-snommelp-odinsblog-im&m=1)] just panders to their already-inflated egos.

And who knows - maybe if our alleged liberal politicians would stop indulging all the Trumpery bullshit and put forward a plan for real improvement of the republic, some of the unlikely voters could be persuaded to show up and vote.

[#wake up and fight](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/wake-up-and-fight)

* * *

[4/22/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/159865165350/deducecanoe-dontbearuiner)

[#sjr q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sjr-q) [#*snicker*](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%2Asnicker%2A) [#remember that bake sale](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/remember-that-bake-sale) [#where they charged white guys a dollar for a cupcake](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/where-they-charged-white-guys-a-dollar-for-a-cupcake) [#and everyone else paid the fraction of a dollar](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-everyone-else-paid-the-fraction-of-a-dollar) [#that their demographic group made proportionate to white guys](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/that-their-demographic-group-made-proportionate-to-white-guys) [#Hispanic women paid 52 cents](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Hispanic-women-paid-52-cents)

* * *

[4/22/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/159871183454/stele3-boogiewoogiebuglegal-im-the-primary)

[#the present cult of St Bernie the One True Prophet](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-present-cult-of-St-Bernie-the-One-True-Prophet) [#makes a nice clear picture of what's wrong with 'the left'](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/makes-a-nice-clear-picture-of-what%27s-wrong-with-%27the-left%27) [#dudes who cannot imagine woman as anything but auxiliaries](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/dudes-who-cannot-imagine-woman-as-anything-but-auxiliaries) [#so our civil rights are frivols to be traded away cheap](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-our-civil-rights-are-frivols-to-be-traded-away-cheap) [#(and the bros are still mad 'cause Bernie totally won the primaries](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%28and-the-bros-are-still-mad-%27cause-Bernie-totally-won-the-primaries) [#he was the last man standing so he should have got the prize](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-was-the-last-man-standing-so-he-should-have-got-the-prize) [#cheating cheaters made up bullshit excuses so that icky girl could steal it from Bernie](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/cheating-cheaters-made-up-bullshit-excuses-so-that-icky-girl-could-steal-it-from-Bernie) [#and HOW DARE YOU call them sexist they're just being honest)](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-HOW-DARE-YOU-call-them-sexist-they%27re-just-being-honest%29)

* * *

[4/26/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/160029152289/niagara-falls) **Niagara Falls**

  


[#most scenic](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/most-scenic) [#proof I left the house](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/proof-I-left-the-house) [#train to NYC tomorrow](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/train-to-NYC-tomorrow)

* * *

[ 5/5/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/160328665803/november-1980-trabuco-canyon-burned-it-was-one)

November 1980, Trabuco Canyon burned. It was one of seven big wildfires in CA that month. My oldest sister’s BFF lived up in Coto de Caza, and we lived down by the freeway, so Tracey came to stay with us for a while. The skies stayed ash-gray the whole time she was there. The national news anchors were hilariously incapable of pronouncing “Trabuco.” There was a day I walked out into the quad of Serrano Jr High and watched ash falling from the sky. (I found out later snow falling looks a lot like ash falling, just paler and less wheezy.) It was hard to breathe for a while there.

[August 1994](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Flocalwiki.org%2Fslo%2FHighway_41_Fire&t=M2JjYTAxODI2NWJjMjQzZWExYTJmM2IxYmRmYTY0NzkwM2MwN2I2NCw2Y1dkN3B0VQ%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F160328665803%2Fnovember-1980-trabuco-canyon-burned-it-was-one&m=1) a big swath of the hills above San Luis Obispo burned over. The local morning radio crew stayed on air for something like 12 hours on the day it got really bad. The anchor guy could hardly talk the next day.

My mother told me once about seeing a wildfire jump a freeway, would have been sometime in the 1950s or 60s, I guess? She told it with a lot of detail that I don’t remember clearly. Still not sure if that really happened, or if it did happen, if she personally saw it.

[#art q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/art-q) [#Indian Canyon Fire](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Indian-Canyon-Fire) [#Highway 41 Fire](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Highway-41-Fire) [#tree pretty fire bad](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/tree-pretty-fire-bad) [#I live in the city now](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-live-in-the-city-now) [#we got lots of other troubles but no more wildfires for me](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/we-got-lots-of-other-troubles-but-no-more-wildfires-for-me) [#they do make for pretty pictures though](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/they-do-make-for-pretty-pictures-though)

* * *

[5/7/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/160408601562/where-do-you-think-the-dislike-for-fat-people-came)

Thinness is also meant to evoke youth. Compulsory thinness requires grown women to waste time and energy trying to fit into clothing sized for a girl on the cusp of menarche. The ideal woman has a perpetually thin and hairless body and a perpetually unlined face. She will never mature into having her own opinions, much less take charge. She should always be easy to dominate and manipulate.

Men are routinely encouraged to abandon women who’ve grown up enough to start making demands. After all, the bitch got fat.

Compulsory thinness serves the patriarchy’s purposes is multiple ways. 

[#sjr q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sjr-q) [#compulsory thinness](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/compulsory-thinness)

* * *

[5/12/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/160597617424/life-in-oz) **Life in Oz**

Friday’s my half day at work. I picked up lunch from the curry truck on the way in. My boss greeted me at the reception desk with, “We’re under cyber-attack, do not turn on your computer.” Then she went back to talking to her boss. 

OK.

Her boss decreed that if corporate IT didn’t get it fixed by 2pm, we could go home. I ate chicken tikka masala at my desk, we talked weekend plans, someone broke out the putter set. Then it was 2pm and we all left.

So, today  
I got up at twelve and started to work at one  
Took an hour for lunch, then at two I was done.

[#jolly good fun](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/jolly-good-fun) [#that's how we work the day away](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/that%27s-how-we-work-the-day-away)

* * *

[ 6/9/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/161626503333/we-spent-a-lot-of-time-thinking-about-silvers)

[#why I don't talk about some things](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/why-I-don%27t-talk-about-some-things) [#the big scary formative thing diminishes](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-big-scary-formative-thing-diminishes) [#flattens like toothpaste when transferred to paper for future reading](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/flattens-like-toothpaste-when-transferred-to-paper-for-future-reading) [#as Goldman put it](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/as-Goldman-put-it) [#and at the same time](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-at-the-same-time) [#is transmuted into something to hold against me](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/is-transmuted-into-something-to-hold-against-me) [#The demon that plagued me becomes a tacky gargoyle figurine](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/The-demon-that-plagued-me-becomes-a-tacky-gargoyle-figurine) [#and those who've seen it on my shelf sneer at my taste](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-those-who%27ve-seen-it-on-my-shelf-sneer-at-my-taste)

* * *

[ 6/15/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/161844821371/got-an-email-from-a-cousin-i-dont-usually-talk)

Got an email from a cousin I don’t usually talk to, titled “For whom the bell tolls” and rambling about how she and her husband were debating which shipping company I work for, and how she was glad she was wrong because that meant I was safe from today’s shooting. 

Which is how I heard that there’d been a shooting in my town today.

Nothing political, at least at first blush. Just a disgruntled employee. *Just* a disgruntled employee. Used to be something like that would top the national news for a week. This wasn’t the top story even in-state. 

[#there's a reason I don't usually talk to that cousin](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/there%27s-a-reason-I-don%27t-usually-talk-to-that-cousin) [#the going got seriously weird here](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-going-got-seriously-weird-here) [#starting with the blackout in April](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/starting-with-the-blackout-in-April) [#and what with one thing and another](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-what-with-one-thing-and-another) [#it hasn't mellowed out yet](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-hasn%27t-mellowed-out-yet) [#wtf](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/wtf)

* * *

[6/15/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/161856296453/franzis-frantic-thoughts-harmonyltd) [why do dudes send the dick pix?]

Because the immediate rush of superiority they get from making creepy dominance displays at women is better then the distant prospect of actually getting laid. 

[#I blame the patriarchy](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-blame-the-patriarchy)

* * *

[ 6/26/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/162280468787/marthawells-hntrgurl13-stariousfalls)

The part about public school teachers buying school supplies - that’s always been that way. A part of their salaries is formally earmarked for buying classroom supplies. That way, each and every teacher has the freedom to design their own personal curriculum for their classes without interference from foolish people who think all third graders in the US should be studying the same subjects. That may or may not be a good idea, and the earmarked money may or may not be sufficient to the purpose, but it has always been that way and it is on purpose.

The bit about the schools literally collapsing - that has **not **always been that way. For a while in the 50s/60s/70s, US public schools were generally nice places, with functional buildings and arts programs and towels in the locker rooms so the kids could take a shower after PE. Then in 1978, California kicked off the so-called ‘Taxpayer Revolt’ by passing [Prop 13](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FCalifornia_Proposition_13_%281978%29&t=NGQwN2VhNDQzZmM3Mzc4YTMyOGRiYTk1MjRhNDY1MzllNDcwOGJlMyxOcFExSVJTVA%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162280468787%2Fmarthawells-hntrgurl13-stariousfalls&m=1). That’s had a variety of mischievous effects, some intentional, some not. The _immediate _effect, though, was to remove great chunks of money from the public school budget. All the ‘frills’ got cut. When those were gone, essentials got re-classified as frills. Maintenance got deferred, and kept getting deferred, until the buildings are coming down around the students’ ears.

[#kids today](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/kids-today)[#in an astonishing coincidence](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/in-an-astonishing-coincidence)[#the taxpayer revolt started by de-funding the public schools](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-taxpayer-revolt-started-by-de-funding-the-public-schools)[#just as desegregation efforts were bearing fruit in the public schools](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/just-as-desegregation-efforts-were-bearing-fruit-in-the-public-schools)[#repeal Prop 13 now](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/repeal-Prop-13-now)


	3. Chapter 3

[7/1/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/162465070141/state-will-not-share-voter-information-with)

I’m finding the spectacle rather heartening, myself. 

The authoritarian idea is that subordinates should obey for no other reason than a superior gave the order. Federal > state; so, a president’s commission, no matter how foolishly constituted, is superior to a duly elected or appointed state official. Therefore, state officials will (of course!) follow the orders of the president’s commissioner.

Out here in reality, though, the public responses from relevant officials have been more- and less-polite versions of, “this state’s elections department will follow the letter of state law.” It doesn’t fundamentally matter to them who’s asking, or why. **State officials are following state law**. Even the jackass who issued this overreaching demand for information is publicly saying that his department [will follow state law with regard to voter information](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Ftalkingpointsmemo.com%2Flivewire%2Fkris-kobach-bogus-election-integrity-commission&t=OWNmYjZkZTM5ZjZkZWNhZjRmMGI2YjhlZDUzOTU2ZTUyZjRmMjBlNCw0Z2tLekdMcA%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162465070141%2Fstate-will-not-share-voter-information-with&m=1). Because **even he **holds the authority of properly constituted state law above the specious authority of the presidential commission he leads.

We are still a nation of laws, not of men.

[#yes it's creepy as fuck that they're even asking](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/yes-it%27s-creepy-as-fuck-that-they%27re-even-asking) [#but the response so far is heartening](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but-the-response-so-far-is-heartening) [#so far we're obeying the rules not the bullies](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-far-we%27re-obeying-the-rules-not-the-bullies)

* * *

[7/6/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/162673181375/drst-kinkstertime-bogleech)

4% of the water use in California goes to consumers. The other 96% is split about evenly between agriculture and industry. So, of course, every time there’s a drought consumers are told conserve, conserve, conserve! Stop watering plants, delay flushing toilets, take 3-minute showers, because squeezing all the waste out of the consumer-use 4% will magically refill the aquifers.

[#more proof that corporations aren't people](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/more-proof-that-corporations-aren%27t-people) [#if they were they'd be guilted like the rest of us](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/if-they-were-they%27d-be-guilted-like-the-rest-of-us)

* * *

[7/12/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/162902665715/kidacheree-arandomthot-i-relate-far-too-much)

[#^this](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%5Ethis) [#Mom taught us to apologize for every word](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Mom-taught-us-to-apologize-for-every-word) [#I'm sorry](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27m-sorry) [#so sorry](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-sorry) [#I'm sorry I'm not sorrier](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27m-sorry-I%27m-not-sorrier) [#took forever to unlearn that verbal tic](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/took-forever-to-unlearn-that-verbal-tic) [#and then learn to identify when I'd actually trespassed against someone](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-then-learn-to-identify-when-I%27d-actually-trespassed-against-someone) [#and sincerely apologize for the trespass](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-sincerely-apologize-for-the-trespass)

* * *

[7/12/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/162905087410/the-three-types-of-taggers)

I don’t know if this is xkit or original recipe, but you can reorder finished tags by moving them with your mouse. Which means you can move the mistyped tag to the end, delete it, re-type it correctly, then shift the re-typed version into correct position.

[#psa q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/psa-q) [#for longer stronger tag rants](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/for-longer-stronger-tag-rants)

* * *

[7/13/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/162947000613/hobby-lobby-to-pay-3m-fine-hand-over-illicit)

I don’t know why this is the part that I’m tripping on, but:

**They did this is full knowledge of the law**. US Customs regs are seriously arcane, so they hired an expert who (correctly) informed them of the relevant restrictions and requirements. And instead of following Paul’s advice in [Romans 13](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.biblegateway.com%2Fpassage%2F%3Fsearch%3DRomans%2B13%26version%3DKJV&t=ZjlmY2NjMmU3ZTE0OTg3OGNlOTA3YzMxNTIyMzk0Y2I4M2E5ODM1NSxpQ09iM08zUg%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F162947000613%2Fhobby-lobby-to-pay-3m-fine-hand-over-illicit&m=1), these good Christians intentionally and knowingly broke the law. There was no ‘oops!’ No mistake. They intended to defraud Customs, and they _didn’t care_ if they funded terrorism in the process.

Someone should have gone to jail for this.

[#boycott Hobby Lobby](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/boycott-Hobby-Lobby)

* * *

[7/14/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/162984295959/can-i-ask-for-a-tiny-bit-of-writing-advice-im)

[#^this](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%5Ethis) [#but if you're going to go](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but-if-you%27re-going-to-go) [#go big](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/go-big) [#use the](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/use-the) [#nine billion synonyms for said](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nine-billion-synonyms-for-said) [#interlard with all the adverbs](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/interlard-with-all-the-adverbs) [#'No' the eldest violet-eyed temptress gurgled softly](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%27No%27%C2%A0the-eldest-violet-eyed-temptress-gurgled-softly) [#and voila](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-voila) [#Baroque dialogue attribution poetry](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Baroque-dialogue-attribution-poetry) [#we could have an annual contest](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/we-could-have-an-annual-contest) [#like the Bulwer-Lytton](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/like-the-Bulwer-Lytton)

* * *

[7/15/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/163040077989/mysliceoffun-profeminist)

seriously, if USians can learn to say Ralph Fiennes - which is not even a little bit phonetic in US dialects - the way he wants it pronounced, then there is no not-bigotry excuse for tripping over Uzo Aduba or Ki Hong Lee.

[#sjr q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sjr-q) [#of course they did fuck up 'Marg Helgenberger'](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/of-course-they-did-fuck-up-%27Marg-Helgenberger%27) [#when she won her Emmy](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/when-she-won-her-Emmy) [#called her Marge](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/called-her-Marge) [#they got it right after that](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/they-got-it-right-after-that) [#but still](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but-still) [#how do you even mispronounce Ki Hong Lee](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/how-do-you-even-mispronounce-Ki-Hong-Lee) [#there's not a whole lot of possible misapprehensions available](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/there%27s-not-a-whole-lot-of-possible-misapprehensions-available)

* * *

[7/20/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/163220218079/brainstatic-apparentlyeverything)

Kamala Harris is making all the moves you’d expect if she was setting up to run for president. That’s why Republican committee chairs won’t let her finish a sentence, and that’s why the left-bros are making up ‘flaws’ to chide her for. 

[#a woman's place is in the wrong](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/a-woman%27s-place-is-in-the-wrong)

* * *

[7/21/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/163257004810/fair-is-foul-and-foul-is-fair) ** Fair is foul and foul is fair**

Mr Trump told the Times that Mr Sessions’ vague scant gesture toward ordinary ethical norms (recusing himself on the Russia thing) was “unfair” to Mr Trump.

This is an example of something I’ve noticed before. “Fair,” in standard English, means “just” and “legitimate.” In the dialect of spoiled boys, “fair” means “beneficial.” “Unfair” means “detrimental.” 

So when one of the spoiled boys says, “You’re not being fair to me,” he’s not talking about how you rate on abstract ideals of justice, equity, or honesty. He’s saying, “You are not according me the deference to which I am entitled.” 

I suspect that at least sometimes this is a consciously undertaken rhetorical trick, meant to persuade a naive listener that abstract fairness coincides with the speaker’s interests. Mostly though, I think the spoiled boys really do believe that even-handed justice requires that they always win. That the only explanation for one of them losing is that _someone else cheated_. Which makes an excellent rationalization for the spoiled boys cheating themselves. It’s only fair, after all.

[#personal lexicon](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/personal-lexicon) [#'fair' is when they win](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%27fair%27-is-when-they-win)

* * *

[7/22/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/163304732351/apparentlyeverything-berniesrevolution)

…so, supporting a mess of half-baked grandstanding by the gentleman from Long Beach is what passes for a useful litmus test these days? Really?

good to know which side these boys are on, I guess.

[#which side are you on?](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/which-side-are-you-on%3F)

* * *

[ 8/1/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/163681995844/gaymermell-do-you-ever-feel-yourself-slowly)

[#current mood](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/current-mood) [#so I've been reading through the Teen Wolf tags on AO3](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-I%27ve-been-reading-through-the-Teen-Wolf-tags-on-AO3) [#never seen the actual show](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/never-seen-the-actual-show) [#from what I hear I'd be disappointed](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/from-what-I-hear-I%27d-be-disappointed) [#what I like in the stories](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/what-I-like-in-the-stories) [#functional communities of found family](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/functional-communities-of-found-family) [#does not happen in the show](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/does-not-happen-in-the-show) [#Is there a show with canon functional found family](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Is-there-a-show-with-canon-functional-found-family) [#one where the showrunner doesn't get bored](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/one-where-the-showrunner-doesn%27t-get-bored) [#and tear everything apart for cheap drama?](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-tear-everything-apart-for-cheap-drama%3F) [#I mean other than Leverage](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-mean-other-than-Leverage) [#I <3 Leverage](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-%3C3-Leverage) [#Because I think I would like to watch something like that](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Because-I-think-I-would-like-to-watch-something-like-that)

* * *

[8/8/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/163952957526/rich-sf-residents-get-a-shock-someone-bought)

[#private property](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/private-property) [#and the ramifications thereof](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-the-ramifications-thereof) [#Of course the buyers are opportunistic](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Of-course-the-buyers-are-opportunistic) [#smart too](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/smart-too) [#and on solid legal ground](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-on-solid-legal-ground) [#that's how fortunes get made](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/that%27s-how-fortunes-get-made) [#and the HOA is saying 'opportunistic' like it's a bad thing](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-the-HOA-is-saying-%27opportunistic%27-like-it%27s-a-bad-thing) [#dumbasses](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/dumbasses) [#and btw](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-btw) [#$14/year for that street?](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%2414%2Fyear-for-that-street%3F) [#someone got a sweetheart deal on that assessment](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/someone-got-a-sweetheart-deal-on-that-assessment)

* * *

[ 8/9/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/164013396186/awed-frog-okay-stupid-question-ive-been)

The archetypal European town you’re describing is the result of the Romans choosing to invest in municipal fountains, the Catholic Church choosing to put a church in every hamlet_,_ industrial & post-industrial governments choosing to invest in functional passenger rail, and a wide variety of folks with the wit to replicate a working paradigm. The part of the US you’re asking about didn’t get any of that.

They got the [Land Ordinance of 1785](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FLand_Ordinance_of_1785&t=YWI2ZjExYWExNDJjYjJhYTllMjUzOWIwZjI1NGFhOWY0M2M0NzAwZixtdkcySEhTMw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F164013396186%2Fawed-frog-okay-stupid-question-ive-been&m=1) and the [Homestead Acts](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FHomestead_Acts&t=YWYzNDNhOTQ0MTFjZDZjNjNiOGU0NzQ4NWRiNzkwZTJlMTA5ZjM1YixtdkcySEhTMw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F164013396186%2Fawed-frog-okay-stupid-question-ive-been&m=1). The Land Ordinance was Jefferson’s bright idea. The government surveyed a grid of townships across the plains, then gave away the land to settlers in neat square blocks. One section of each township was set aside for the school. Towns generally popped up on the school section. Originally the school was supposed to go on Section #16 of every township, regardless of actual terrain. It wasn’t quite that rigid in practice. But you will notice that across the midwest there’s still a town every six to ten miles, whether or not there’s any practical reason to be a town there.

Those towns were never populous, most of them. The school section was a mile square, and no one was invading, so there was no reason to crowd the few houses tight together. Everyone could have their house on an half-acre lot. There would be a post office and a little store. Several churches, rigidly segregated by class and race. Maybe a vaudeville theater or a [Grange Hall](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FNational_Grange_of_the_Order_of_Patrons_of_Husbandry&t=YjQ5NDI3YzE0YzJiMmU0MzJlOTU2NGQ2ZGZiZjFjZDJiNmVhMjY4MixtdkcySEhTMw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F164013396186%2Fawed-frog-okay-stupid-question-ive-been&m=1). 

And that was the much-romanticized, now-lost, small town America.

Agricultural technology improved. Farms got bigger and increasingly mechanized. Fewer laborers were required to work those farms. Children of little farm towns went elsewhere to raise their own children. The people left behind pretty much have to drive to a superstore a few towns over, because their little hometown stores are out of business.

(Railroads in the US are an uglier story, to which I cannot do justice.)

\---

Different mechanisms created ‘centerless’ towns in other parts of the US. Mostly the [GI Bill](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FG.I._Bill&t=NmQ2MjdiMWEzMGIyNDQ0YzdmZDYxOTdkOTZiMDk5MjM0NTFkZGM4ZCxtdkcySEhTMw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F164013396186%2Fawed-frog-okay-stupid-question-ive-been&m=1), which gave away low-interest no-downpayment home loans, which allowed a generation to diffuse out from cities (where they’d walk to the shops) and into suburban subdivisions (where they’d drive to the mall and everywhere else). 

The malls are now dying of internet mail order and children of the suburbs are fleeing to the cities. (Or in my case, have long since fled. Suburbs are hell.)

tl;dr: you had the Roman Empire and the Catholic Church; we had Thomas Jefferson and [Levitt & Sons](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FLevitt_%2526_Sons&t=YjQyYzdhZDRjZTk0NjA4NzZiYmVmYjkzMDdkZDI4OTU4MjJmMDU4MyxtdkcySEhTMw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F164013396186%2Fawed-frog-okay-stupid-question-ive-been&m=1). 

[#talking maps](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/talking-maps)

* * *

[8/14/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/164182813352/better-late-than-never) **Better late than never**

[GoDaddy is booting the Daily Stormer](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Fnews%2Fmorning-mix%2Fwp%2F2017%2F08%2F14%2Fgodaddy-bans-neo-nazi-site-daily-stormer-for-disparaging-woman-killed-at-charlottesville-rally%2F%3Fhpid%3Dhp_hp-top-table-main_mm-godaddy-1059am%253Ahomepage%252Fstory&t=MmJiM2U2NzM1NGJlNzU3ZTA0MDFkODZiMjdhMzk2OTJiZTM2Zjc5ZixWemdNdjRtRw%3D%3D&b=t%3A0uBFBznWrCGtBXYYAWqPPA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fwelkinalauda.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F164182813352%2Fbetter-late-than-never&m=1). That’s nice. 

it’s also hitting me kind of askew, because 

  1. after all the awful stuff the DS has posted, what _violated GoDaddy’s terms of service_ was calling the victim of a high-profile murder fat, and 
  2. how very considerate of GoDaddy to make sure the nazis have a full day to get everything backed up before GoDaddy pulls the plug.

But still. It’s a good thing. I hope GoDaddy and other service providers will be more willing to apply their terms of service to nazis in the future.

[#nazi punks fuck off](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nazi-punks-fuck-off)

* * *

[8/15/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/164222854151/the-myth-of-the-kindly-general-lee) [Robert E. Lee][  
](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/164222854151/the-myth-of-the-kindly-general-lee)

[#even the children's hagiographic version of him](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/even-the-children%27s-hagiographic-version-of-him) [#isn't all that great when you stop and think about it](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/isn%27t-all-that-great-when-you-stop-and-think-about-it) [#the just-so story I was told](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-just-so-story-I-was-told) [#was that when presented with a choice of which army to lead](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/was-that-when-presented-with-a-choice-of-which-army-to-lead) [#he chose to stick with his friends back home in VA](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-chose-to-stick-with-his-friends-back-home-in-VA) [#which is like *textbook*](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/which-is-like-%2Atextbook%2A) [#all his friends jumped off a bridge so he did too](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/all-his-friends-jumped-off-a-bridge-so-he-did-too) [#the same teachers who presented Lee as a nice man for sticking with Virginia](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-same-teachers-who-presented-Lee-as-a-nice-man-for-sticking-with-Virginia) [#were constantly inveigling against their students succumbing to peer pressure](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/were-constantly-inveigling-against-their-students-succumbing-to-peer-pressure) [#Lee is a bad example for youth](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Lee-is-a-bad-example-for-youth)

* * *

[ 8/25/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/164590151095/ithelpstodream-resist)

[#experimental evidence](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/experimental-evidence) [#For 20 or 30 years now it's been all](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/For-20-or-30-years-now-it%27s-been-all) [#'don't feed the trolls'](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%27don%27t-feed-the-trolls%27) [#speak kindly to them if you must engage](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/speak-kindly-to-them-if-you-must-engage) [#but it turns out](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but-it-turns-out) [#ignoring the trolls reassures them](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/ignoring-the-trolls-reassures-them) [#soft soaping them](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/soft-soaping-them) [#makes them think they're strong dominant objectively right](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/makes-them-think-they%27re-strong-dominant-objectively-right) [#And here we see demonstrated](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/And-here-we-see-demonstrated) [#removing their free pass to spew vicious nonsense in all forums](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/removing-their-free-pass-to-spew-vicious-nonsense-in-all-forums) [#showing up at their parties carrying signs](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/showing-up-at-their-parties-carrying-signs) [#opposing them and all their works](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/opposing-them-and-all-their-works) [#outnumbering them 1000 to 1](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/outnumbering-them-1000-to-1) [#that's what makes them reconsider their life choices](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/that%27s-what-makes-them-reconsider-their-life-choices) [#feed the trolls a heaping spoonful of STFU](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/feed-the-trolls-a-heaping-spoonful-of-STFU)

* * *

[8/31/17 ](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/164828107217/drst-bilt2tumble-17mul-citizen-zero)

Right. I guess the junior senator from Illinois has special hurricane responsibilities, or something?

(Ooh, does that mean Tammy Duckworth is supposed to be running disaster relief for Harvey? ‘cause that’d actually be good news, what with her being a competent adult and all.)

[#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#eight years of evil and incompetence down the memory hole](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/eight-years-of-evil-and-incompetence-down-the-memory-hole)

* * *

[9/7/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/165089912761/chiisana-sukima-hazeldomain)

This is something that’s been mystifying me since the heyday of LiveJournal - folks publicly publish words, with no limiting mechanism or annotation, and then feel horribly betrayed when someone fails to divine the author’s intent to keep selectively private those publicly published words. 

If you don’t want your mother seeing your journal, lock it. If you don’t want granddad to see everything you post to facebook, put him on a restricted list. If you don’t want a tumblr post reblogged, say ‘do not reblog.’

If you want strangers to respect your wishes, you need to make very clear what those wishes are. 

[#my perspective on this is perhaps skewed](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/my-perspective-on-this-is-perhaps-skewed) [#by having once watched a young woman](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/by-having-once-watched-a-young-woman) [#suddenly widowed](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/suddenly-widowed) [#post her actual feelings about her husband's death](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/post-her-actual-feelings-about-her-husband%27s-death) [#relief mostly because she was about to file for divorce](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/relief-mostly-because-she-was-about-to-file-for-divorce) [#on an open blog](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/on-an-open-blog) [#and then she got all indignant when her mother in law](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-then-she-got-all-indignant-when-her-mother-in-law) [#a woman who'd JUST BURIED HER SON](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/a-woman-who%27d-JUST-BURIED-HER-SON) [#got nasty in the comments section](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/got-nasty-in-the-comments-section) [#And I totally get the feeling of relief](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/And-I-totally-get-the-feeling-of-relief) [#but why the hell did she put it in type](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but-why-the-hell-did-she-put-it-in-type) [#in an unlocked post on a blog her MiL knew about?](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/in-an-unlocked-post-on-a-blog-her-MiL-knew-about%3F) [#never ever occurred to the young widow](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/never-ever-occurred-to-the-young-widow) [#that she had any responsibility](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/that-she-had-any-responsibility) [#for the obviously foreseeable consequences of her actions](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/for-the-obviously-foreseeable-consequences-of-her-actions) [#sufficiently willful cluelessness is indistinguishable from malice](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sufficiently-willful-cluelessness-is-indistinguishable-from-malice)

* * *

[9/12/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/165285313929/drst-bluesoaring-v1als-survey-time-whats)

Dad used to take us in to work and dump us in front of empty terminals, so the first system I remember using was the Xerox Alto. 

Mostly I played Maze Wars with my sisters. Does that count as not on the internet? It was a networked game, but only inside the building. And the internet was was still ARPANET.

I’m not sure it was technically a ‘website’, but there was this treasure trove of crossover smut I found not long before the turn of the century, and I spent far, far too much time there… 

[#nostalgia wallow](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nostalgia-wallow) [#for many years now](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/for-many-years-now) [#I've been vaguely expecting to casually meet someone](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27ve-been-vaguely-expecting-to-casually-meet-someone) [#who worked at PARC in the 70s](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/who-worked-at-PARC-in-the-70s) [#ask if they knew my dad](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/ask-if-they-knew-my-dad) [#and hear](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-hear) [#'OMG YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE ROTTEN KIDS'](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%27OMG-YOU-WERE-ONE-OF-THOSE-ROTTEN-KIDS%27) [#hasn't happened yet](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/hasn%27t-happened-yet)

* * *

[ 9/21/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/165603941666/good-news) ** Good news!**

  


Tree kangaroos exist.

[#I just found out today and wanted to share](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-just-found-out-today-and-wanted-to-share) [#bunnies bunnies it must be bunnies](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/bunnies-bunnies-it-must-be-bunnies)

* * *

[9/26/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/165763775045/ive-had-smooth-criminal-in-my-head-for-the-past)

I’ve had ‘Smooth Criminal’ in my head for the past few days. To me it sounds like he’s asking Annie if she’s **oaky **over and over. Like Annie is the name of a chardonnay and he’s an inexperienced taster who’s just taken a sip, staring into the glass and urgently trying to figure out if he should describe the taste as oaky, or if that would make the more-experienced tasters in the room laugh and start babbling about tannins and blueberry top notes or whatever. And that’s not a question I want to listen to three minutes of someone else’s internal monologue about.

[#today's earworm](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/today%27s-earworm)

* * *

[9/29/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/165888765185/i-got-shit-on-for-saying-hugh-hefner-was-a) [re: Hugh Hefner]

[#we are not things](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/we-are-not-things) [#he didn't normalize women enjoying sex](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-didn%27t-normalize-women-enjoying-sex) [#he helped normalize the idea that women who don't loudly express enjoyment of being fucked on command](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-helped-normalize-the-idea-that-women-who-don%27t-loudly-express-enjoyment-of-being-fucked-on-command) [#are defective](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/are-defective) [#Before: lay back and think of England](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Before%3A-lay-back-and-think-of-England) [#After: lay back and convince him his inept fumblings have brought you to orgasm](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/After%3A-lay-back-and-convince-him-his-inept-fumblings-have-brought-you-to-orgasm) [#It was a speed-up of emotional labor](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/It-was-a-speed-up-of-emotional-labor) [#and did women in general no favors](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-did-women-in-general-no-favors)


	4. Chapter 4

[10/4/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166051476225/lierdumoa-videntefernandez-josephssidehoe)

And it’s not even that general audience are ‘woke,’ or whatever. We’re just capable of pattern recognition, if the pattern stays consistent for long enough. 

This pattern has been consistent for decades. If the suits in charge of production made a point of whitewashing the main cast, then they also homogenized and dumbed-down everything else about the property. Women will be oracles, assistants, and sexy lamps. Characters of color will be evil or cannon fodder or both. The hero will be conspicuously heroic. The villain will be deprived of redeeming features. Anything interesting or new about the original property will have been sand-blasted off and replaced with hokum and explosions.

We’ve seen that movie. A lot. No point paying today’s ticket prices to see it again in the theater.

[#all media is propaganda](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/all-media-is-propaganda)

* * *

[10/8/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166206606758/emmalily-offending-the-offended)

[#every time I see that barbie-pink drill bit](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/every-time-I-see-that-barbie-pink-drill-bit) [#I have visions of the gargantuan tentacular installation piece](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-have-visions-of-the-gargantuan-tentacular-installation-piece) [#it ought to be part of](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-ought-to-be-part-of) [#It should debut at Burning Man](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/It-should-debut-at-Burning-Man) [#then a national tour of zoos arboretums and body shops](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/then-a-national-tour-of-zoos-arboretums-and-body-shops) [#ending on the National Mall](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/ending-on-the-National-Mall) [#The roadies foolishly go for dinner before they've got it completely bolted down](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/The-roadies-foolishly-go-for-dinner-before-they%27ve-got-it-completely-bolted-down) [#It grinds to life](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/It-grinds-to-life) [#lurches free of all constraints](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/lurches-free-of-all-constraints) [#heads north](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/heads-north) [#finds the White House](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/finds-the-White-House) [#eats the inhabitants](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/eats-the-inhabitants) [#And then the aliens land](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/And-then-the-aliens-land) [#OK SO I REALIZE THIS IS A BIT OF TANGENT](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/OK-SO-I-REALIZE-THIS-IS-A-BIT-OF-TANGENT) [#ANYWAY](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/ANYWAY) [#Support your local Cancer Society](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Support-your-local-Cancer-Society) [#they rule](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/they-rule)

* * *

[10/13/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166364487634/i-want-cheese-mamawerecat)

The ‘feminist’ conversion on the occasion of fatherhood, I think that’s a ‘pets or meat’ thing. 

The dude always saw women as livestock. Just so much useful meat. This one or that one may belong to him personally, but we’re fundamentally interchangeable. 

Then birth happens and it’s a girl. Our Hero gets hit with the oxytocin rush or whatever and suddenly he has urges to nurture this tiny female. He generalizes from that, and ta-da! Epiphany! Women aren’t livestock, we’re _pets_. Part of the family, with enchantingly specific personalities of our own, to be protected and supported in our personal development and lovingly prevented from making our own reproductive decisions.

It is a real improvement. People do treat pets (even other people’s pets) better than we treat livestock. 

Still not the same as actual feminism. 

[#women are pets not people](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/women-are-pets-not-people) [#pets or meat](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/pets-or-meat)

* * *

[10/16/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166459954719/bilt2tumble-malacro-kriscoko)

It’s kind of like when a woman says, “Guys, don’t do that” - it must mean she hates men. It **must** be some overpowering hatred, because no lesser emotion would give her the nerve to say ‘no’ to her betters. 

[#sjr q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sjr-q)

* * *

[10/24/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166745856756/dear-millennials)

[#kids today](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/kids-today) [#it has NEVER been ok to pester the other passengers on public transit](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-has-NEVER-been-ok-to-pester-the-other-passengers-on-public-transit) [#'back in my day' we brought something to read](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%27back-in-my-day%27-we-brought-something-to-read) [#morning commute tended to newspapers](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/morning-commute-tended-to-newspapers) [#evening commute everyone had a book](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/evening-commute-everyone-had-a-book) [#seriously an entire BART car crammed to the gills](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/seriously-an-entire-BART-car-crammed-to-the-gills) [#every single person including the standees had a book open](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/every-single-person-including-the-standees-had-a-book-open) [#I kind of miss it](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-kind-of-miss-it) [#dedicated quiet time to just sit and read](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/dedicated-quiet-time-to-just-sit-and-read) [#but I no longer have that kind of commute](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but-I-no-longer-have-that-kind-of-commute) [#and these days when I am on BART I'm reading fanfic on an iPod](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-these-days-when-I-am-on-BART-I%27m-reading-fanfic-on-an-iPod) [#which is kinda the same but not](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/which-is-kinda-the-same-but-not) [#nostalgia wallow](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nostalgia-wallow)

* * *

[10/24/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166748153264/programming-note)

Programming note

Tomorrow I take the brokers’ exam, so tonight I’m staying at my sister’s, and will therefore be off-line.

I should be returning to my regularly scheduled rote by Thursday.

[10/26/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166816380600/programming-note)

I think I did pretty well. The pass rate runs about 12%, but I feel like I put in creditable work. So right now I’m hoping I passed while planning my prep schedule for the April exam. Readiness is all.

Thank you, friends, for the good wishes & test-taking vibes. :) 

[#back from the wars](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/back-from-the-wars) [#now to read through my dash](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/now-to-read-through-my-dash) [#see what I missed](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/see-what-I-missed)

* * *

[10/31/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/166985990880/larinah-welkinalauda-replied-to-your-post-im) [new ending for Orient Express] 

or,

Colonel Hastings is along on the trip as the pov character. Everything else goes as per canon, except all the suspects protest their innocence to the end. Tacked on at the end is an additional scene, intercut with the credits, of Hastings and Poirot in a cab back in London. Their dialog makes it clear that Hastings did it and all Poirot’s ‘detecting’ was a smokescreen to make sure Hastings got away with it. 

[#fractured fairy tales](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fractured-fairy-tales) [#let's toss Agatha Christie in a blender](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/let%27s-toss-Agatha-Christie-in-a-blender)

* * *

[11/14/17 ](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/167490129294/rebecca-solnit-let-this-flood-of-womens-stories)

[#The Great Unveiling](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/The-Great-Unveiling) [#it's 'good men' actively pretending away they knowledge they have](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-%27good-men%27-actively-pretending-away-they-knowledge-they-have) [#because their idea of a 'good man' would act on that knowledge](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/because-their-idea-of-a-%27good-man%27-would-act-on-that-knowledge) [#and they did not will not act](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-they-did-not-will-not-act) [#cowardice laziness self interest fear](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/cowardice-laziness-self-interest-fear) [#He IS a 'good man'](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/He-IS-a-%27good-man%27) [#it's his identity](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-his-identity) [#So he tells himself he didn't know](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/So-he-tells-himself-he-didn%27t-know) [#that there's nothing to be known](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/that-there%27s-nothing-to-be-known) [#it was nothing](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-was-nothing) [#it was no big deal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it-was-no-big-deal) [#if she will not be silent she must be lying](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/if-she-will-not-be-silent-she-must-be-lying) [#because the alternative is to clearly see](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/because-the-alternative-is-to-clearly-see) [#how short he falls from his own standards](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/how-short-he-falls-from-his-own-standards) [#better to close his eyes](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/better-to-close-his-eyes)

* * *

[11/22/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/167786024830/comfort-age-immortals)

[#immortals bickering about the comfort of a properly fitted set of stays](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/immortals-bickering-about-the-comfort-of-a-properly-fitted-set-of-stays) [#(one misses them the other DOESN'T)](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/%28one-misses-them-the-other-DOESN%27T%29) [#immortals who get pissy because they can't find a real set of pantaloons these days](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/immortals-who-get-pissy-because-they-can%27t-find-a-real-set-of-pantaloons-these-days) [#immortal women raised with spindles in their hands](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/immortal-women-raised-with-spindles-in-their-hands) [#weaving their own damn chitons](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/weaving-their-own-damn-chitons) [#noting the changes selective breeding has wrought in flax](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/noting-the-changes-selective-breeding-has-wrought-in-flax) [#for good and ill](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/for-good-and-ill) [#immortals in shirtwaists full skirts a wide hat and a stout pair of boots](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/immortals-in-shirtwaists-full-skirts-a-wide-hat-and-a-stout-pair-of-boots) [#out for a walk on a autumn day](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/out-for-a-walk-on-a-autumn-day) [#immortals slouching around pudgy in spandex](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/immortals-slouching-around-pudgy-in-spandex) [#giving thanks for microfiber](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/giving-thanks-for-microfiber)

* * *

[11/27/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/167935996416/suspend-invisiblespork-elinimate-a-male)

A while back one of my coworkers asked my opinion of a study he’d found on the internet about sexual assault. It said some percentage of women (I don’t remember the number) had been sexually assaulted, and he wanted to know if I thought the number was right. The way he asked, he sounded smugly sure I’d agree that the study was making too much of the situation.

I asked him to define his terms. 

A lot of folks, when they say ‘sexual assault,’ they seem to mean only ‘attempted but uncompleted forcible rape.’ If that’s what the study was talking about, then, sure, their number did sound kind of high to me. 

But, I said, if we’re talking about things that are certainly sexual and technically assault, all the ‘little’ things, things no one would ever prosecute - every time somebody grabbed your tit, grabbed your ass, rubbed against you on the bus, tried to kiss you, tried to shove his hand under your clothes or shove your face into his crotch - if that’s what was meant by ‘sexual assault,’ then every woman I know well enough to have that conversation with has at least one story. Most have several. Some have a lot. And while ‘every woman I know well enough to have that conversation with’ is self-selected and way too small a group to be statistically significant, it is **every woman**. No hyperbole. Every one.

He said, No, no, I know what you’re saying…

…and, I said, some places have an offense called ‘sexual assault,’ so I guess in those jurisdictions they could be using the definition written into the local law? 

I suggested he check the study design, find out what definition the people who did the study were using, and also ask his wife’s opinion. She’s seen more of the world that I have. When I left he was looking thoughtful and a lot less smug.

[#The Great Unveiling](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/The-Great-Unveiling) [#it's like he'd never connected the stories he'd been told](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/it%27s-like-he%27d-never-connected-the-stories-he%27d-been-told) [#the incidents he'd SEEN with his own eyes](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-incidents-he%27d-SEEN-with-his-own-eyes) [#with the Great Social Ill of sexual assault](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/with-the-Great-Social-Ill-of-sexual-assault) [#Great Social Ills happens somewhere else to other people](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Great-Social-Ills-happens-somewhere-else-to-other-people) [#nothing to do with him](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nothing-to-do-with-him)

* * *

[11/29/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/168004209014/my-new-neighbor) **My new neighbor**

locked himself out, it seems, so a locksmith is methodically, noisily, breaking in to his apartment.

Good thing I’d met him (the neighbor, not the locksmith) before in the elevator, or I’d be calling the cops right now.

[#in other personal news](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/in-other-personal-news) [#my downstairs neighbor had water coming through her ceiling over the weekend](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/my-downstairs-neighbor-had-water-coming-through-her-ceiling-over-the-weekend) [#and my upstairs neighbor had a leak as well](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-my-upstairs%C2%A0neighbor-had-a-leak-as-well) [#men with fans are supposed to show up tomorrow afternoon](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/men-with-fans-are-supposed-to-show-up-tomorrow-afternoon) [#dry out the damp places](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/dry-out-the-damp-places) [#check my walls for leaks](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/check-my-walls-for-leaks) [#Yesterday one of my coworkers casually mentioned her husband](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Yesterday-one-of-my-coworkers-casually-mentioned-her-husband) [#Husband What Husband](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Husband-What-Husband) [#I said](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-said) [#she said she'd been married for a year and a half](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/she-said-she%27d-been-married-for-a-year-and-a-half) [#and I know I'm not social at the office but jfc](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-I-know-I%27m-not-social-at-the-office-but-jfc) [#My BiL has persuaded me to go to this weekend's spn Convention](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/My-BiL-has-persuaded-me-to-go-to-this-weekend%27s-spn-Convention) [#he has NOT persuaded me to cosplay](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/he-has-NOT-persuaded-me-to-cosplay) [#I have no plaid no jeans not even fed threads](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-have-no-plaid-no-jeans-not-even-fed-threads) [#oh wait](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/oh-wait) [#I do have a pair of horns](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-do-have-a-pair-of-horns) [#one generic demon coming up](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/one-generic-demon-coming-up) [#so if you're going to San Francisco](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-if-you%27re-going-to-San-Francisco) [#I'll be the one with bright red horns in my hair](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27ll-be-the-one-with-bright-red-horns-in-my-hair) [#11/28/17](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/11%2F28%2F17)

[11/29/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/168027616724/my-new-neighbor)

The nice workmen had this awesome gadget that detects water in the walls. 

Sadly, I had some. They’ve drilled holes behind the baseboards and are running mammoth fans to inject dry air into the damp wall.

In happier news, the source of the water has already been found and dealt with.

[#and now I have to go back to work](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-now-I-have-to-go-back-to-work) [#11/29/17](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/11%2F29%2F17)

* * *

[11/30/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/168042141769/right-now-the-internet-is-held-at-a-title-ii)

Think about Hurricane Harvey. People trapped by rising waters posted their addresses to Facebook or Twitter and people - sometimes Emergency Services, sometimes random citizens with boats - came to rescue them. If Facebook’s a premium service and every Tweet is vetted by the ISP before publication, those rescues don’t happen.

[#net neutrality now](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/net-neutrality-now)

* * *

[ 12/4/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/168191018240/the-president-cannot-obstruct-justice-because-he)

[#kleptocrats](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/kleptocrats) [#this is not normal](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/this-is-not-normal) [#my theory is the world did not end in 2012](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/my-theory-is-the-world-did-not-end-in-2012) [#but began](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/but-began) [#everything before 2012 is a false reality](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/everything-before-2012-is-a-false-reality) [#implanted in our collective consciousness](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/implanted-in-our-collective-consciousness) [#so that we could rationalize our newly-created circumstances](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-that-we-could-rationalize-our-newly-created-circumstances) [#I'm calling it 'last Tuesdayism'](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I%27m-calling-it-%27last-Tuesdayism%27)

* * *

[12/14/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/168533005162/come-to-bethlehem-to-see-him-whose-birth-the)

[#music q](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/music-q) [#tis the season](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/tis-the-season) [#Angels We Have Heard On High](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Angels-We-Have-Heard-On-High) [#Christendom College Choir & Schola Gregoriana](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Christendom-College-Choir-%26-Schola-Gregoriana) [#nostalgia wallow](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/nostalgia-wallow) [#my mother's church used to do a Lessons and Carols service about now](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/my-mother%27s-church-used-to-do-a-Lessons-and-Carols-service-about-now) [#we were Presbyterians](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/we-were-Presbyterians) [#the service was kind of light on liturgical coherence](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/the-service-was-kind-of-light-on-liturgical-coherence) [#and heavy on the hymns and carols](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-heavy-on-the-hymns-and-carols) [#I miss hymn singing](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/I-miss-hymn-singing) [#a bunch of amateurs doing their best to make](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/a-bunch-of-amateurs-doing-their-best-to-make) [#doubtful theology set to a mediocre tune](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/doubtful-theology-set-to-a-mediocre-tune) [#into a joyful noise unto the Lord](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/into-a-joyful-noise-unto-the-Lord) [#Happily](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Happily) [#St Luke's has a service this Sunday afternoon](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/St-Luke%27s-has-a-service-this-Sunday-afternoon) [#and Incarnation the week after](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/and-Incarnation-the-week-after) [#i just might go to one or the other](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/i-just-might-go-to-one-or-the-other)

* * *

[12/20/17](https://welkinalauda.tumblr.com/post/168748041380/reblog-this-with-what-comes-up-in-your-tags-when) [Reblog this with what comes up in your tags when you type ‘fuck’]

[#fuck a planet: birth a monster](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fuck-a-planet%3A-birth-a-monster) [#Hiding the Bodies of Importunate Fuckheads–For Dummies!](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Hiding-the-Bodies-of-Importunate-Fuckheads%E2%80%93For-Dummies%21) [#fleeing the Great Fucks Famine of 2015](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fleeing-the-Great-Fucks-Famine-of-2015) [#fuck retail](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fuck-retail) [#no you may not use our service to sell your fucks](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/no-you-may-not-use-our-service-to-sell-your-fucks) [#clockfucker](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/clockfucker) [#Nazi Punks Fuck Off](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/Nazi-Punks-Fuck-Off) [#fractional fuckery](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fractional-fuckery) [#when they say 'choose your woman' they're not fucking around](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/when-they-say-%27choose-your-woman%27-they%27re-not-fucking-around) [#fucking Vonnegut](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fucking-Vonnegut) [#was carved out by human fuckery](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/was-carved-out-by-human-fuckery) [#so fucking textbook](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/so-fucking-textbook) [#fuckability is not the apex of human aspiration](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/fuckability-is-not-the-apex-of-human-aspiration)


End file.
